Think a movie's success is all about its length? We disagree! Tune in to a spirited discussion with Richie, Jim, Carl, and Jason on the potential effectiveness of shorter films and the dangers of over-relying on online advice. We also critique the Dungeons and Dragons movie for its duration and quality. All in all, it's an episode packed with critiques, insights, and of course, a whole lot of fun. Time to kick back and dive into movie magic!
Transcript
0:00:00 - Jim
I don't get why your zoom Richie used that mic for everything, Alright alright. Well, we need to get you an idiot proof mic.
0:00:10 - Carl
Get you an idiot proof something.
0:00:14 - Jim
Good comeback.
0:00:31 - Richie
Hey, welcome to Destroy All Movies. What's up people? I'm Richie, I'm Jim.
0:00:37 - Jason
Oh fuck Jason Wow.
0:00:42 - Carl
You guys got me all flustered with my audio components.
0:00:45 - Richie
It's been a hell of a day at sea, sir, so far. So what's up man? What's on the show? What are we doing?
0:00:54 - Jim
There's some fat guy blocking me. There's what there's some fat guy blocking me.
0:01:03 - Carl
What does that mean?
0:01:05 - Jim
What the? Isn't that what the guy says when he's looking for the binoculars?
0:01:12 - Richie
The fat guy blocking me, sir, that's right, that was from Overboard, carl.
0:01:21 - Carl
Okay, another reference for the fans, but no one will get it.
0:01:26 - Richie
That's true. Overboard fans will get it. Well, fuck them anyway, break. I'm calling Jason and Ray fucking names. We can't have that.
0:01:38 - Jason
They just told us to be better at this. That's pretty much what they said In that show.
0:01:46 - Jim
Alright. What's on the show? Dungeons and Dragons? Dungeons and Dragons.
0:01:51 - Jason
One of my favorite role-playing games that I never played. I've never played it.
0:01:56 - Jim
I played other role-playing games, never Dungeons and Dragons.
0:02:00 - Carl
I played it once or twice Didn't really get into it when I was like seven, eight years old.
0:02:05 - Richie
Like role-playing where you're a butler and you're bringing your wife cheese and wine. That type of role-playing.
0:02:13 - Carl
No actual D&D.
0:02:16 - Richie
So, anyway, what have you been watching?
0:02:19 - Jim
I've been rewatching, besides a rewatch of Star Trek and the Next Generation, which I'm in the second season of. That's a commitment, yeah, but I mean it's why you can watch a piece of an episode and get back to it. It's not like it's something that you got to sit and watch the whole thing, it's not a bad idea. I've been rewatching all of the Mission Impossible movies before I go see the latest Mission Impossible movie, solid. I'm on Just Finish a Ghost Protocol, so good. And then Next is Fallout.
0:02:58 - Carl
I think they kind of get better as they go.
0:03:00 - Jim
Yeah, they said that's the strange thing with Mission Impossible movies, how it doesn't work like regular movies. Most movie series get worse as they go. Yeah, and this it's just gotten bigger.
0:03:17 - Jason
I'm cruising and he takes his characters seriously. That's I feel like he won't even release a movie, movies like especially if it's a sequel, it's like they have to be good. He wants to be as good as the original or if not better, kind of like the second top gun and all the.
0:03:34 - Carl
Oh, jj, it's a good Frieza.
0:03:38 - Jim
Yeah.
0:03:41 - Speaker 5
Here, you know, you froze up.
0:03:43 - Jason
Yeah, I don't know what the deal is. I'm getting a. Your internet is unstable. No warning on my computer.
0:03:51 - Jim
Yeah, you got slow, slow broadband slowing down. That's why Richie hardwires himself in now.
0:04:01 - Carl
Hell yeah, wow, that's old school.
0:04:05 - Richie
Hardwired. Yeah, I have a. I have enough cable to reach, so why not Cool?
0:04:13 - Jim
Yeah, so far Mission Impossible. Last time I checked, when I checked here say you had 90% positive on rotten tomatoes.
0:04:22 - Richie
I ain't gonna go see that.
0:04:23 - Carl
The new one.
0:04:25 - Jim
Yeah, what do you mean? You're not going to go see that Super Cheat, come on.
0:04:29 - Carl
I got to see Oppenheimer first.
0:04:32 - Jim
What but Oppenheimer's not out?
0:04:35 - Carl
I know, but I'm not going to the movies anytime, real soon.
0:04:38 - Richie
So yeah, not going to see, especially to go see. Fucking. Did you go see Indiana Jones yet Anybody Carl?
0:04:44 - Carl
I did.
0:04:46 - Richie
Yes, no. Oh yeah, I heard it was really good, chase.
0:04:50 - Jim
Wow.
0:04:51 - Carl
I wouldn't say really good, definitely tops number four.
0:04:55 - Jim
Well, anything. A freaking balloon with a hat with top number four.
0:05:01 - Jason
I've heard people say that it's worse than number four. I'm not even kidding.
0:05:04 - Carl
Wow, fuck that. No, it's not.
0:05:07 - Jason
I heard that.
0:05:09 - Jim
I heard a lot of bad things about it.
0:05:11 - Jason
Me too. I heard that the chick who plays I don't know, everyone says that she's insufferable.
0:05:18 - Jim
and she, oh, you bag, yeah, she just she's bags on the whole movie Phoebe Waller Briggs.
0:05:26 - Richie
Yeah, she's okay, she shit the bed.
0:05:30 - Jason
I heard it was harder already, like they removed her from any future projects that they're going to have. Oh, wow, like that, wow.
0:05:38 - Jim
Well, they're not going to have future Indiana Jones projects. I can tell you that, not with those box off performance of this one.
0:05:46 - Carl
Really she was better than Silabuf.
0:05:49 - Jim
Yeah, it didn't, it didn't know. That's a fucking stretch.
0:05:52 - Carl
It's. It didn't open well.
0:05:55 - Jim
It didn't open well at all. Hey, that's why everyone's praying that the movie industry is praying that the mission impossible and Barbie and Oppenheimer Barbie mission impossible and Oppenheimer every other thing they've been releasing has been opening really soft.
0:06:16 - Richie
It's Barbie fucking Barbie.
0:06:20 - Carl
I'm telling you the movie's going to surprise me.
0:06:22 - Jim
Yeah, it's going to surprise me if I ever watch it, although although, like I told my wife, I didn't think I was going to like Spice Girls.
0:06:32 - Carl
Right.
0:06:34 - Jim
And then I like Spice Girls, and it is so ridiculous that I enjoyed it.
0:06:42 - Jason
That's what I think we're in for.
0:06:43 - Jim
Spice World, spice World, yes, yes, spice.
0:06:46 - Carl
World. I think that's what we're in for.
0:06:49 - Jim
It had. Bob Cratchit was their manager in Spice World.
0:06:56 - Carl
Bob Cratchit was.
0:06:58 - Jim
Yeah, Bob Cratchit from the TNT version. From the TNT version with Captain Picard yeah, you know, the best one, old Loki, from Loki.
0:07:10 - Jason
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard that India Jones, like when it was all said and done, because they had to do six reshoots for the ending. This is just stuff that I like heard from dudes who have insiders in Disney. But they said that they spent like over 300 million on it, so they ended up getting like $1.5 million. With the marketing and paying for all the actors and all the reshoots. They have to hit $780 million to break even Worldwide. They're not even close.
They were worldwide. That's worldwide. They hit $780, but, like their first weekend, they needed to at least get like 140, 150 on a holiday weekend and they ended up getting like $60 million, $65 million, wow, I enjoyed the ending.
0:07:58 - Carl
I heard a lot of shit talking about it.
0:08:01 - Jim
I enjoyed this movie. This movie's box office so far is only 256 million.
0:08:08 - Carl
And they have to get to 750.
0:08:10 - Jim
Yeah, 780.
0:08:11 - Jason
780. Oh God, to break even. So anything over that's going to be considered profitable.
0:08:16 - Richie
I'm watching. I'm watching the offer.
0:08:20 - Carl
Oh yeah, that was fun, I watched that.
0:08:21 - Richie
Yeah, that's all I'm watching. That's all I'm.
0:08:27 - Jason
Um, I watched that movie as the mom of the movie. It was just enough for me Go anybody else.
0:08:33 - Jim
I watched that movie.
0:08:36 - Carl
You guys harped me for not watching both, like Kevin Spacey and all the dudes.
0:08:40 - Jason
Glenn, gary Okay, let's hear. Yeah, how much did you enjoy? I thought it was all right Like it was. It was very just a movie full of talking. I mean it was a movie and tell them stories about you know the big sale I mean I saw. I called the ending when I watched it Like I knew that was gonna happen.
0:08:59 - Richie
Shelly the machine Levine, yeah the whole I say fuck the machine.
0:09:05 - Jason
Yeah, but it was. It was. I can see why. Like it's pretty popular, it was like the acting and the oh my God, the star power.
0:09:16 - Richie
That shit that we pulled on my guy yesterday. It's not even my place to say it. It was admirable Movie.
0:09:27 - Speaker 5
Movies.
0:09:33 - Richie
Anyway, all right, let's get to this movie.
0:09:34 - Jim
Dungeons and Dragons, honor among thieves, just directed by Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley, screen Bay play by them and Michael Gillio Story by Chris McKay, starring Chris Pine, michelle Rodriguez, justice Smith, sophia Lilis and you, grant.
0:10:02 - Richie
Yeah, who's a fucking Oompa.
0:10:04 - Jason
Loompa, by the way, but Bradley Cooper was in it for like a second.
0:10:08 - Richie
Oh yeah, that's right, bradley Cooper. Yeah, sure was, you played a.
0:10:12 - Jim
Hobbit. I don't know how I feel about this movie. Okay, so it's basically. It's not like people go to a Dungeons and Dragons or play a video, a role-playing game or anything, it's just these characters who would have existed in that universe, right? And Chris Pine, of course, plays kind of a conman-ish type. Yeah, scoundrel, scoundrel.
0:10:42 - Carl
Yeah, he's really good. Chris Pine's always good.
0:10:46 - Jim
Yes, he's always good.
0:10:47 - Carl
And he's on the tall guy list too. He's on the tall guy list. He's about my size.
0:10:53 - Jim
Oh, oh, excellent.
0:10:56 - Carl
I got a little affinity for the tall guy list.
0:10:58 - Richie
Right on, were you in any of his movies? No, no.
0:11:03 - Jim
You didn't double him because you don't understand. I was standing.
0:11:07 - Carl
I was standing.
0:11:07 - Speaker 5
I was standing, I was standing.
0:11:09 - Carl
I was standing.
0:11:10 - Speaker 5
I was standing, I was standing.
0:11:13 - Carl
No, I was Jeff Goldblum standing. Oh, there you go, he's our size too.
0:11:18 - Jim
Nice. So he's kind of he's like a bard, he plays the ukulele or whatever. The frigate thing is. What do you call those things?
0:11:30 - Carl
Oh God, it's not a ukulele.
0:11:33 - Jim
Like a, like a land, something like that.
0:11:34 - Richie
Yeah, I like that, yeah, something like that. Small liar, small liar.
0:11:39 - Jim
I wasn't there the chicken's in the mail.
0:11:44 - Richie
This movie. I don't know, I don't know the first thing about Dungeons and Dragons the game. Right Either the tablet of you know recreation, resurrection, resurrection, yeah, or the fucking helmet of Narnia, that fucking you have to be a 13 level wizard yeah.
0:12:10 - Jim
To get the helmet of.
0:12:11 - Carl
Narnia no.
0:12:13 - Richie
You know, like I'm sure there's a group out there and I'm like man the helmet of Narnia was.
0:12:19 - Speaker 5
I can't believe that you got the movie.
0:12:21 - Jim
You did get better, you got better as it went along.
0:12:24 - Speaker 5
Yeah, you can't, but he could have done that. You have to be a 13th level wizard.
0:12:28 - Jim
Well, he only he only lacked self-esteem and confidence.
0:12:34 - Speaker 5
Yeah.
0:12:35 - Jim
That was his only problem, yeah. The power was within him all along.
0:12:42 - Richie
Yeah, all he had to do was click his heels and he could go home.
0:12:45 - Jim
Yeah, so apparently his daughter's dead. He's in prison, his daughter's not dead His wife's dead, his daughter's alive. She's what you grant. You grant used to be part of his crew.
0:13:00 - Carl
Very briefly.
0:13:03 - Jim
After Chris Pine went to prison, you grant became like a nobleman.
0:13:10 - Richie
So basically, to defeat the fucking evil witch, you just needed a handcuff.
0:13:15 - Jason
Yeah. Yeah, pretty much, it's impressed her powers pretty much.
0:13:19 - Jim
Yeah, yeah, well she started that and there's some overarching villain that you never really see and they talk about all the time Shazbot or something, and that's what. Like the red witch who's in this is like a disciple of that dude. So I guess in the many sequels that are going to come after, this one. They'll be rolling that dude out. I doubt this is going to make you made into a sequel.
0:13:51 - Jason
But when this movie ended I was like man, I really hope. I think the studio is like expecting sequels, was like I hope they don't make a sequel to this movie, like just yeah.
0:14:02 - Richie
Well, they have to. They brought Michelle Rodriguez back, so she has to drive something, otherwise that's not going to.
0:14:07 - Jim
Yeah.
0:14:09 - Richie
She needs some faster drive. They were trying to do another.
0:14:12 - Jim
Plus they. They had a new IP, they had a sling ring in it, even though Dungeon Dragons and the Narrates are going to say we're here to Dungeon Dragons first, before Marvel used it oh.
0:14:24 - Richie
OK yeah, the portals, oh yeah.
0:14:30 - Jim
Yeah. I played that video game they work like a sling ring or, as Carl said, like portals in the game portal.
0:14:38 - Richie
Oh great, I've never. I've never played in portal.
0:14:42 - Jim
But it's basically the game, as you keep going through these portals and popping out in other places.
0:14:47 - Richie
Oh, a lot of puzzles which I like. I'm surprised Tom Cruise isn't doing it in his next possible movie. I know Just portal he's like, but I want real portals, I'm not.
0:15:04 - Jim
Tom Cruise is going to enter the multiverse, and this new one, but for real, yeah, but for real. He says a whole bunch of people doing research, trying to.
0:15:18 - Richie
Yeah, get portals going or portal technology.
0:15:22 - Carl
Giving Dr Strange's Chinese buddy yeah.
0:15:26 - Jason
Yeah.
0:15:27 - Richie
Long, so long. So, yeah, this the story wasn't terrible, wasn't great.
0:15:34 - Jim
Yeah, I felt like it was OK. I like that.
0:15:39 - Richie
I like that, chris, I like that his. The coolest thing about his character is he came clean. I like, listen, I'm just, I was just an asshole. Yeah, you know what I mean? They didn't downplay it, he was just like, ah, but you know, I lied to you guys, I'm an asshole. I did it. For this reason there's a lot of funny lines, of course.
0:15:58 - Jim
Yeah, but I'm saying they could have been funnier. It could have been funnier because they tried to force. Yeah, they tried to keep it lighthearted, but some of the jokes just weren't landing that hard.
0:16:11 - Carl
Yeah, I thought it was like a lot of people are doing this, like too, mongey, and so what was right.
0:16:18 - Jim
But, like, like I'm okay with Chris Pine, I'm okay with Michelle Rodriguez. You know the dude that played the sorcerer apprentice sorcerer, he should have been a much. They should have gotten a much funnier British dude to play that part.
0:16:38 - Carl
Absolutely.
0:16:38 - Jim
It would have been way better because his lines were especially not landing.
0:16:45 - Richie
And the girl who can turn into a, fly, into a rat, the shapeshifter little pixie.
0:16:51 - Jim
Yeah.
0:16:52 - Richie
The arrival.
0:16:53 - Jim
She's a tiffling druid.
0:16:57 - Carl
There you go.
0:16:58 - Jim
Raised in the never winter wood, amy Adams, by a wood elf on clave.
0:17:04 - Carl
I could have sworn she was Amy Adams daughter.
0:17:07 - Richie
Oh, my God Say that again. Jim Say that again. What she?
0:17:12 - Jim
she was a tiffling druid raised in the never winter wood by a wood elf on clave. Oh my God. She is a member of the Emerald Enclave and has organized a resistance against the Lord of never winter who targeted the forest. Never winter, that sounds pretty good.
0:17:29 - Carl
Yeah, it's always nice, the weather is great.
0:17:35 - Speaker 5
And then people wonder you know how you?
0:17:37 - Jason
have winter we never have.
0:17:43 - Richie
I was saying. I said people who play Duns and Dragons they wonder why people like think of them as like super nerds and like they stare at them for shit.
0:17:48 - Jason
Like that. They have a backstory.
0:17:57 - Richie
I could just imagine the fucking typing that's going on.
0:18:01 - Carl
Playing man.
0:18:01 - Jason
they should have approached this movie like Princess Bride, where they had like a group of kids or like adults playing and then like they jump back into like the game, but they add like some real world humor or like they'll read something and then like, and then it goes back to the kids or the people and they're like what the hell is that even mean? And they just start making some outlandish shit up. I could have been better. Yeah, they should have approached like Princess Bride. That's what they should have did.
Yeah, they were like the end of the Lego movie. Yeah, exactly, they could have done something like that. That's a great idea. And they had no theme song. Yeah, they didn't have a really good theme song.
0:18:39 - Jim
A catchy theme that explained the premise Right. They need that.
0:18:45 - Richie
And I mean, what was the point of Bradley? Cooper being in this Like did he owe someone a favor? I don't know, I don't know.
0:18:52 - Carl
They just wanted to have fun.
0:18:53 - Jim
That's what.
0:18:54 - Carl
I mean.
0:18:54 - Jim
Like hey, Bradley, what are you doing this weekend?
0:18:56 - Richie
You want to be a. You want to be a dwarf or something. What you did? Half a day. It was half a day's work.
0:19:03 - Carl
And don't you, once you win Dungeons Dragons, aren't you like?
0:19:06 - Jason
the dungeon master some shit Like. The dungeon master is the guy who runs the game.
0:19:11 - Jim
Okay Well, but they didn't have like a point to like they completed all these quests.
0:19:16 - Jason
But there was, I get like right, who's the dungeon master?
0:19:20 - Richie
Yeah, like they didn't really get into that, because they did, because this wasn't a game.
0:19:24 - Jason
This is a character that exists in there. In that fantasy realm.
0:19:30 - Jim
They could have made it more A dungeon master would be somebody who is running who runs the role playing game. So Well, that's what I'm saying, that's what that Princess Bride style and like right, you know the puppet master.
0:19:44 - Jason
Yeah, but the thing is, I don't even need that, I just needed it to be a little bit funnier, or at least at the end.
0:19:51 - Jim
And I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
0:19:56 - Richie
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, or at least at the end, you know at the end show who the dungeon master was.
0:20:10 - Jason
I don't care if it was you know in our or if they wanted to promote the game they could have like did you know when the show each character they could've did, like those scenes where like freezes the frame and it shows, like their character name, what their powers are, what they're actually called to kind of promote the game as well, what they were there for? I don't know.
0:20:27 - Jim
Oh, ok, I found the guy's name.
0:20:30 - Richie
Who.
0:20:30 - Jim
Zastam, that's S-Z-A-S-S. Who's that? That's that villain that the red witch worked for. Oh, ok, red sorceress. Whatever an L she is.
0:20:44 - Carl
Maybe he's the dungeon master.
0:20:46 - Jim
So maybe he's the dungeon master. They were talking about him, but you never see him.
0:20:50 - Jason
I wanted to see Vecna.
0:20:52 - Richie
It would have been cool, like if you know when, when they were going around stealing all the stuff, or when they were in the maze.
0:20:58 - Jim
Yeah.
0:20:59 - Richie
And they open the box like there was a paradise. That would have been funny.
0:21:04 - Carl
Oh, like 10 sides of the head, yeah.
0:21:08 - Richie
What am I supposed to do with these?
0:21:12 - Jason
I mean it's kind of risky like doing a movie like this that's a huge game that's been around for years and then not really reference the game. Nope, this is just a crazy fantasy world.
0:21:25 - Richie
Right, they literally just used a couple characters from that, from that from the game, and that was about it, and a couple of their toys that they use.
0:21:36 - Jim
Yeah, and I'm sure like the weapons and tools and powers were all from the game. I'm sure the monster is all over the thing that she turns into the bear owl bear.
0:21:54 - Richie
Right.
0:21:54 - Carl
I like the owl bear.
0:21:56 - Jim
Yeah Well that's directly from the game.
0:21:59 - Carl
Yes.
0:21:59 - Jim
Probably heard someone mention that that all the owl bear. You know they got that right, like I got that right, because I will not be watching this movie.
0:22:10 - Speaker 5
But Well, I know there's a treasure chest.
0:22:14 - Carl
There's a treasure chest that turns into a monster, and that that I've seen in some video game.
0:22:20 - Speaker 5
So Friday night I've been invited all my friends over to play the game and watch the movie simultaneous.
0:22:27 - Jason
It'll be a short night, about 12, 14 hours. That's it, yeah.
0:22:31 - Jim
So this movie.
0:22:32 - Carl
My mom's getting pizza yeah.
0:22:34 - Jim
This movie cost 150 million and so far has made 208 million. So so I don't think it's going to get a sequel unless it like smashes at home.
0:22:49 - Jason
Yeah, releases, but I don't know.
0:22:51 - Speaker 5
We're going to pregame at Papa John's Pizza and then we'll meet up at my house.
0:22:57 - Jason
Like I said, it's moves, like it was risky, just going straight fantasy and not really having like concept of the game. I just think that's they could have promoted the game at the same time and I mean stranger things did more to promote the game than this movie did.
0:23:11 - Jim
So this thing only made 93.3 in the states oh wow and 114 in the rest of the world.
0:23:20 - Jason
That's not good.
0:23:22 - Richie
Like just regular dollars one hundred and nineteen bucks.
0:23:25 - Jim
It got. It got Poor people.
0:23:33 - Carl
It's with popcorn.
0:23:35 - Jim
It got mostly 90 percent pretty positive reviews at a two hundred and three reviews.
0:23:43 - Richie
That's fucking funny. It may like it.
0:23:46 - Jim
But, like I said, I might as well go first with the crosshairs. I'll give it a two and a half. I'm like I didn't mind watching it.
0:23:55 - Richie
Right.
0:23:56 - Jim
It's just it didn't thrill me. Like I said, if it was on again I'd watch a piece of it again. But yeah, I wouldn't go out of my way to watch it again, Right.
0:24:08 - Richie
And it would have to be like where in the movie is it? I'm like that's too early. I'm not watching the rest of this. Yeah, it did.
0:24:14 - Jim
It did have a fairly slow start. So two and two and a half, two and a half. All right, carl Right in the middle.
0:24:21 - Carl
I was going right there with Jim. Two and a half, and the half is just for the gelatinous cube which shows up in other video games as tough yeah.
0:24:36 - Richie
And apparently, if you stick your finger out of it, you're fine.
0:24:40 - Jason
Yeah, you're all set. Yeah, that was weird.
0:24:44 - Richie
Yeah, all right, jello cube. Good for you, carl.
0:24:47 - Carl
Gelatinous cube.
0:24:49 - Richie
Okay, get it.
0:24:51 - Carl
All right Okay.
0:24:52 - Jim
What he means is it's not flavored.
0:24:55 - Carl
I just reached my nerd level.
0:24:57 - Jason
Nice. I give it a just a two. I'm not even going to go to half. It wasn't a terrible movie, but it's not something I'll probably watch again. I thought it was too long. There were some parts of the movie man, why are you even watching this? I thought the whole digging up multiple dead guys to get information. I thought that was forced comedy. That whole scene Probably.
0:25:19 - Jim
Yeah, I thought the first couple, but then when they kept doing it and doing it, and doing it, I'm like this is just dragging, but yeah, I'll give it a two, but you're right, they've got to start making fucking short, so did you know it's like every movie does not have to be over two hours long.
0:25:35 - Jason
No, this week, this week of an hour and 30 hour and 45 minutes done, yeah.
0:25:41 - Richie
Should have been so. Did you know? Did you watch it? Did you watch the end scene Like after credit scene? No, yeah. Yeah, I watched it, so it was the. It was the, the, the last dead guy that they got. Then he's still waiting for his question.
0:25:58 - Jason
Oh, who's talking about the books?
0:26:00 - Jim
Yeah, yeah, you say, could someone ask me?
0:26:03 - Richie
could someone ask me a question? Please Ask me my fourth question.
0:26:07 - Carl
They did that joke in airplane, of course, 35 years ago. I'll give him five more minutes.
0:26:14 - Richie
Yeah, yeah, anyway, all right, I give it a four and a half Four and a half Four and a half, I'm only kidding. Two, it was all right. Like I didn't hate it. You know it was dumb but it wasn't unwatchable. Like you know it was too long. Again, fuck these movies. Fuck you know what. One seriously like I.
0:26:39 - Carl
Stop taking yourself so seriously, making two and a half hour movies.
0:26:43 - Jim
Well, all these guys fall in love with their own fuck, the smell of their own farts, and they, they can't bear to cut a fucking machine out of a movie.
0:26:52 - Richie
It's fucking Zach Schneider's fault, that fucking asshole.
0:26:57 - Jason
It's James Cameron's fault, that's all yeah it was another one. Actually, who did Braveheart? That was like the first movie with two VHS tapes. I was like three hours long. Well, that's very hard, Is it? Mel Gibson?
0:27:12 - Richie
The Godfather two was pretty long as well.
0:27:15 - Carl
Yeah, but that's, that's the zone.
0:27:20 - Jim
Yeah, it's not just the length.
0:27:22 - Carl
Right, it's an adult movie.
0:27:24 - Jim
But the thing is genre movies. Most of them would be better if they take them up 90 minutes.
0:27:32 - Richie
They tighten them up, they keep the story rolling Right 88 minutes with, that's with eight minutes of commercials.
0:27:42 - Jim
Okay, 8 minutes of commercials.
0:27:46 - Carl
That's really tight.
0:27:48 - Jim
So I just Richie wants a tight 40 minute show to do a movie theater yes.
0:27:56 - Carl
Netflix. I'm telling you.
0:27:58 - Jim
I should be no longer than an episode of Night Rider.
0:28:01 - Richie
Right, I need to get Disney needs to hire me for this shit Cause when people are pitching me like I'm like whoa, how long is this?
0:28:13 - Carl
Jason, there's an opening, yeah.
0:28:16 - Richie
Two hours.
0:28:17 - Carl
Can't believe Kennedy might be out yeah.
0:28:20 - Jim
That's all Richie does. He sits in his office, they come in and give him a picture and Richie goes. 92 minutes, 92 minutes.
0:28:28 - Richie
I'm feeling 92 on this, yeah, all right, yeah, and that's including seven minutes of credits.
0:28:36 - Jim
So you know, give me any lip, I'm gonna include the previews In that 90 minutes 90, 92 minutes.
0:28:49 - Carl
No end scene for you, exactly no more credits.
0:28:53 - Richie
Yeah, why? Cause it's been done, just move on, we get it.
0:28:58 - Jim
Oh, listen to Stan fucking Lee over here With his oh well, I'm in credit scene. The ball's on this guy.
0:29:08 - Richie
That's all I did, like I would, it would be perfect. People come in pitch me. I'm like nope, get out of here, dummy. No one wants to see that. I have a vision. It's two hours and 36 minutes. Do you have a vision? France, Fort Coppola, get the fuck out of here.
0:29:26 - Jim
I got a vision of the door hitting you on the ass on the way out.
0:29:30 - Richie
You don't need two and a half hours to fucking tell your fucking that the fucking your wizard friend has to fucking be. Where's the helmet of Narnia? You don't need two hours and 30 minutes of that.
0:29:43 - Jim
Instead of three of a kind. This week I was playing around with chat GPT, oh boy, and I asked it to write a 15 second promo commercial for our show and it gave a line to me and to Richie. Richie, I just texted you your line. Could you read it now? Yeah, yeah, okay, when I point to you, you'll do that line. Are you a movie lover craving unfiltered, hilarious and brutally honest discussions about films? Look no further. Cut to quick shots of hosts laughing and engaging in lively conversations Introducing Destroy All Movies the podcast that takes on your favorite flicks with no mercy. Cut to animated graphics of exploding movie reels. Voice over. Join Richie Jim and their hilarious guests as they dissect, critique and hilariously destroy the movies you love. Cut to close up shots of the host Retard bar the classics and eviscerating the flops.
No holds barred, no mercy given it's not bad.
0:31:07 - Richie
I use these for acid and gist.
0:31:10 - Jim
Get ready for laughs and insights in the wildest movie discussions you've ever heard. Tune in to Destroy All Movies. Screen fades to black with podcast logo and contact information.
0:31:22 - Jason
That's what. I'm terrible. I was like that's not bad, that is wild.
0:31:27 - Jim
And then it says end with a catchy jingle and fade out oh, I have a catchy jingle. What's amazing about it is how instantly it writes this shit.
0:31:39 - Jason
Oh, it's cool, you don't have to wait.
0:31:41 - Jim
You put in the thing like OK, write a 15 second commercial script for our podcast, and it immediately boom.
0:31:55 - Richie
Wow, it's done. See, that's creepy man. I don't want to be a part of that world. I don't want to be putting someone's fucking hand, some metal hand, into a fucking vat of fucking lava so we don't have fucking. You know, I don't want to lower Arnold down, if you know what I mean.
0:32:13 - Jim
Oh, I was fucking talking about. Ok, you know what I mean.
0:32:17 - Richie
I don't want to fucking lower Arnold down and just have the hand there. You know you got to go.
0:32:22 - Carl
There's still one more chip.
0:32:24 - Richie
Like seriously, people like we are so fucking stupid if we keep going this way. Like is no one watched a movie. Yeah, no I know, lord knows, lord knows, you know it was. Those movies back then were only fucking 90 minutes, so people were watching them.
0:32:43 - Carl
Yeah, there's endless articles to really smart people saying don't fucking do this.
0:32:50 - Richie
Yeah, of course I'm not a really smart person. I'm telling you how to do it.
0:32:55 - Carl
I didn't say I was to. People wrote articles.
0:32:58 - Richie
Yeah, I'm just saying like I get it.
0:33:01 - Carl
I get it too.
0:33:03 - Richie
So that was that, and I get on you, jim, and a I get it. Oh what, oh boy. Well, that's the end of the blah, blah, blah, blah, whatever the number or hat, jim always has to.
0:33:17 - Jim
We're in the. We're Somewhere in the four twenty eight range.
0:33:23 - Carl
You're not even dead. You're dropping dad jokes.
0:33:26 - Jim
Right, all right, well, destroy movies can be found at dam show. Dot code D, a, m, s, h O W, dot C O.
0:33:34 - Speaker 5
Damn show Dot go.
0:33:36 - Richie
Our email address is destroy Malatj email dot com. Once again, that's destroy Mal at G Now dot com.
0:33:44 - Carl
Destroy Mal at G.
0:33:46 - Jim
Now yeah, so so use that, amazon Lee.
0:33:49 - Richie
Yeah, use the Amazon like. That's all we got. I'm Richie. I'm Jim Carl Jason. Good night, damnation.
Transcribed by https://podium.page
Movies, TV Shows, Mission Impossible, Star Trek, Spice Girls, Indiana Jones, Dungeons and Dragons, Chris Pine, Michelle Rodriguez, Justice Smith, Sophia Lilis, Bob Cratchit, Captain Picard, Loki, Tall Guy List, Jeff Goldblum, Helmet of Narnia, Shazbot, Portal, Fantasy Genre, Credit Scenes, Timing, Internet Advice